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Book Characters with No Sense of Self-preservation: How Have You Lived This Long?

4/13/2018

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Sometimes people in books have no interest in staying alive. They do the most idiotic things for the sake of minor heroism or because they’re simply too stupid to recognise imminent danger.

It annoys the hell out of me. For the longest time I thought this was some First World phenomena where people simply have no concept of the dangers posed by dark alleys and rooms, walking alone at night, or strangers. I’ve since realised that authors just let their characters be muck-for-brains twerps as a means of moving the plot forward.

I’m not talking about instances where the character realises a situation is potentially dangerous but moves forward anyway because the stakes are too high not to. I mean the person who goes downstairs in their underwear calling ‘who’s there’ in a horror movie.

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Hi there creepy wall mouth with pointy carnivore teeth that couldn't possibly want to eat me, mind if I stroke your tongue for no reason?
A book I read recently featured a sporting event during which one of the opposition players literally shanks a member of the MC’s team during the match. Although they’re given an unfavourable out from the match, the MC volunteers to face the happy stabber player to finish the game.

It’s a game, dude! Who the heck fights to play a game against someone who’s likely to shove something sharp and pointy between your ribs? And the other members of the team are like ‘yeah, you show him, man!’.

Show him how to die a pointless death?

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Last year there was a book where a train suddenly stops, people swarm off it, and start charging off along the tracks. The viewpoint character then meanders around beside the train and asks a guard what’s going on. This guard tells her to run and overtakes her. That’s a fair sign that there’s shit going down you don’t want to get involved in, don’t you think?

Nope. This lady strolls off after everyone else, stops to help a person who’s been mauled by the protesting mob (they’re zombies, but nobody knows that yet). Mobs so savage that they actually bite chunks out of people are a glowing neon sign that you don’t want to be in this situation, right? Hahahanope!  Moron lady camps out on the train station platform with the person she rescued, watching his bites ooze weird shit until the person tries to eat her.

I really hope she died for her stupidity but that was the point where I said ‘nope’ and stopped reading.

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    Author

    Caitlin has loved fantasy from a young age. She started writing in earnest because she couldn’t find the book she needed to read.
     
    Caitlin enjoys listening to music, watching anime, researching random subjects so she can be a better know-it-all, and playing the odd game.   
     
    She lives in South Africa with her son.

    Her work received highest honours in the 2017 SAWC Short Story Competition.

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